I’m not putting a tin-foil hat on – just hear me out.
We’re recording an amazing episode – I’m absolutely buzzing and already off-the-rails and it’s primarily because the amazing Court Lalonde was taking the day off for appointments and wasn’t there to keep me in line. Caylee Allard was filling-in – and our special guest (to be announced) was an absolute professional, as she usually is.
Mid-dialogue, we’re having a conversation about what the Bruins need to do to defeat the Tampa Bay Lightning – and suddenly, our host John Williams in the Williams Broadcasting Studio gets absolutely nailed by a strike of lightning – such a viscous attack that it not only wiped-out all electricity in the building, however it obliterated the emergency charger and incapacitated our ability to complete the podcast.
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but once you move past the smell of burnt electricity, you can also smell a bit of intent. You can smell a surgical plan to overpower our ability to provide analysis that is going to contribute to the moral boost this organization needs to completely obliterate the Tampa Bay Lightning’s chances of winning a Stanley Cup.
Now I’m not sure who to put the blame on yet – a rival Lightning blog? The Tampa Bay Lightning themselves? Or perhaps God is a Tampa Bay Lightning fan, and this is his way of using his powers to help the Lightning eliminate the Bruins from postseason contention. And if so, God made one mistake – when you’re using Holy powers as a weapon, there’s just no way you will ever be able to withstand the Holy powers of none-other than St. Patrice Bergeron.
If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let our podcast publish, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will tweet about you.